Shift - A Game About Love, Fear and Life

OUR VISION
-to love

OUR MISSION
-to reach as many people as possible and remind them that they are loved.

OUR VALUES
-LOVE
we see love as our reason for everything we do – especially our work.
“teach love, for that is what you are.” ACIM

-CREATIVITY
we love doing things just a little different and the celebration of big ideas.
“creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks, breaking rules, making mistakes, and having fun.” Mary Lou Cook

-CHANGE
we believe that we all have the choice to make the changes that will support us most.
“the only way to grow old is to lose your willingness to change.” Robin Zdravkovic

-BALANCE
we see life as being filled with abundance and that there is time for work and time for play.
“live a balanced life – teach some and thank some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.” Robert Fulghum

-SUCCESS
we believe success will be reached when we all start to see just where our thoughts are coming from.
“…to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived – this is to succeed.” Emerson

I’ve spent hours looking going back and forth between cnn, hn, fox, msnbc even the weather channel. I can’t seem to find any worthwhile coverage on the storm. If I hadn’t spoken to friends and family down there I’d have no idea how intense the storm was… been looking online to get th real story. Wondering why this isn’t news for the rest of the country.

Just want to gripe. I’ve seen coverage of Tanya Harding, the Nor Easter, Cancun and even Havana- even 3 full minutes of coverage on the Naples zoo. It just seems so odd that when 98% of the population from Key West to West Palm Beach is without power (and some estimates say it will be 3 weeks before they get it back on) and when they are all under curfews, that I can’t seem to get one image or story on a national channel. I’ve almost seen an entire hour of CNN and 3 minutes on lions in the Naples zoo?

I’ve looked online and found video from the Miami stations. This was a big hurricane, much larger than anticipated, and I wonder if that’s partly why we’re not seeing coverage. The South Florida channels talk about water and ice from the govt. that was supposed to be at locations at 9am but didn’t get there until the evening- Fema said there were cell phone issues and problems with fuel. Unfortunately they told the government officials to announce the locations in advance so people were waiting and frustrated.

I know this is nothing like Katrina and maybe I take it personally because Miami is my home town. My family and friends have said that this was worse than Andrew. Where my mom lives, all the ficus trees that line the main entrance (these trees are 6 ft across and then some with massive root structures) were knocked down. The st0rm took many by surprise since they were told it would be a category 1 or 2 - in fact, many places along the coast didn’t recieve an evacuation since they thought the land would slow it down.

I just want to see some more coverage. Seems quite odd. 6 million people without power who may not get any for 3 weeks… shouldn’t we hear about that?

Funny, I was thinking my gripe was about feeling disconnected. I guess unconsciously I sometimes seek connection through the TV or just images in general. If my belief is that we are always connected it doesn’t matter if the power lines are up or down or if there’s a voice at the other end of the line. I got to speak to my family and friends in form today… and although I’m not down there in the dark trying deperately how to remember the rules for “Go Fish” I’m with them.

Feel like ranting a bit. Still annoyed that there’s no national coverage of the Hurricane that hit South Florida. It’s 11 days after the hurricane hit and people will be without power for a bit longer- they say it might be until the 21st or later. I can’t get through to my Dad who lives in the Grove because they have no power or phones. I’m sure he’s fine… it’d just be nice to get some info on what’s going on down there.

I did find a site with an article http://rawstory.com/news/2005/Nine_days_after_Wilma_Southern_Florida_1102.html.
It’s just interesting what information we receive.

For example, I stayed up late Monday night reading about Referendum C and D (and the other bills) so I could make an informed decision. Did you know that if you look hard enough (in SF this actually came in the mail) you can find explanations of the bills and the arguments for and against them. A 6 word ad just doesn’t cut it. Especially when it’s so easy to alter the true intent of some of these issues with words like, education and health care.

Anyway- I looked up where I needed to vote. I was actually on 3 or 4 sites including the Boulder County Clerks that told you where the polling locations where and none of them said that this was a mail in only vote. Turns out, I could only go to the clerk’s office to cast my vote if I hadn’t through the mail. I happened to move recently and never received a mail in ballot. So I along with hundreds of others, went down there thinking the process would be simple. The traffic was backed up down the street and out onto Arapahoe. I had to park at a nearby grocery and walk there. The lines were long and it turns out that people from even Longmont had all been sent here to cast their votes.

Only problem was, to be able to vote, I had to fill out another form because I had moved. People on line said they had been sitting there for over 2 hours. 3 hours and the polls would close. There were so many of us frustrated because we hadn’t factored in the 2-3 hours for processing. I had dinner guests coming over and although I pushed dinner back an hour, I finally had to make the choice to leave without casting my vote.

I’m griping and I know it. I just wish the information was made public. How many of us went on line and created our day going to our local polling place because none of the websites said any different?

What’s up with our government? Information is power and I guess we need to really seek it out on our own so we truly know what’s going on. We just got to be on it.

If LIFE is a GAME, THESE are the RULES

 1. You will receive a body

2. You will be presented with lessons

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons

4. A lesson is repeated until learned

5. Learning does not end

6. "There" is no better than here

7. Others are only mirrors of you

8. What you make of your life is up to you

9. Your answers lie inside of you

10. You will forget all of this at birth

- by Cherie Carter-Scott, Ph.D.

cool stuff.

Man oh man…I am tired… exhausted. And, yet, I continue. Guess my pain tolerance and ability to juggle plates can be seen as impressive. I’m aware that I don’t want to be one of those supermoms that gets everything done at the cost of losing herself. Yet I persist. I had kids this week- on loan. And they were great- so easy. I mean at 11 and 13, I could do things like drop them off at Harry Potter because it gave me 2hrs and 45 min to get stuff done. Anyway, it was interesting to have kids and keep the house, feed us, take interviews with the newspaper while I waited in line at carpool and deal with the hiccups of getting a game to market days before Thanksgiving.

So much going on. So much potential for a nervous breakdown. And, ironically, this last week or so, I’ve been faced with different, hard decisions… I’d say challenges yet I’d rather call them opportunities (this is what my teacher Dorothy would have us call it and I must credit my source). So opportunities a plenty and my true desire was to crawl under the covers and not deal. However, one of the great things about being so absolutely involved (doesn’t that sound better than overwhelmed?- speak in the positive Nikki) is that there’s no room for indecision. There’s no time for me to screw around and not make things work.

In all these situations that on there own would have been monumental for me in the past, I was forced to just face them head on. I noticed from the scraps of paper in my car that I approached each situation in a similar way. I wrote down “What do I want?” I ignored the drama and focused on, “What is the outcome I want? How can this be better? and How can we make it work? And, in every situation, I really have to say that having walked straight through it, the other side was actually so much better than I could have anticipated.

Things have gone really well given the circumstances. And maybe that’s what makes things so worth having.. the getting there. Besides getting picked up by the press and a number of other amazing feats, I held the game this Saturday. The game that I spent 4 years of my life thinking about, actually came back from the manufacturer in a shiny box waiting to be unwrapped.

I can’t explain what it feels like to unwrap a present that I’ve been waiting 4 years to open. Think I already got what I asked for this holiday.

Whenever I’ve hosted Thanksgiving, I’ve read Marianne Williamson’s quote. I love it and will read it over and over again every year. I’ve even brought it to friend’s houses and forced them to hear it.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.’ We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we subconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

– From A RETURN TO LOVE

This year I asked the group to switch things up. Instead of just saying what we were thankful for, I wanted us to each acknowledge ourselves. What did we do for ourselves this year that was beneficial? How did we support ourselves? This exercise proved interesting for some who had issues with acknowledging just themselves when this was supposed to be a holiday about thanking others. I think I would have had the same response a few years back.

Every year I used to pick a word to work on, to be conscious of for the year. I’ve had Trust and Forgiveness and Play yet I think I spent at least 3 years on Self-love. It was impossible for me to consider myself first and to acknowledge myself. Self-love was a concept I couldn’t get. I might have found it narcissistic however, I think the truth is, I just found it difficult.

This Thanksgiving, I chose to thank myself. I believed in myself and I kept going when I could have quit. I saw my vision and believed it was worth sharing. I truly am thankful that I was able to listen and follow my own path and stick with it for 4? years.

I don’t feel selfish speaking about my accomplishments now. I feel grateful that I can be my own champion and that finally, I am able to give thanks to me.

“And above all else, to thine own self be true. . .” Shakespeare

10 TENETS OF WHOLE LIVING

• Happiness is a choice. You can make that choice today and every day.
• Good health isn’t a gift; it’s a habit you can cultivate.
• Stay connected to the natural world. It will feed your soul.
• Think more about what you should eat more than what you shouldn’t.
• Nurture your spirit. It’s the source of your strength.
• A healthy, fit body is not enough—true fitness engages the spirit.
• Laugh at yourself. You’re funny.
• Believe in yourself. Your intuition is rarely wrong.
• It’s never too late to take the first step toward your aspirations.
• What you pay attention to will thrive.

From the About Us page of whole living: body + soul 

Man oh man I’ve been wanting to write for a month and just haven’t made the time. I’ve had many topics to write about and have been tired and frustrated and then calm and peaceful and yet I wasn’t ready to write. I’m more than a few days into my vacation now and am pleasantly out of my work routine and into my new vacation one. In the last week I’ve gone snowboarding, run the rim trail at the Grand Canyon and I’ve woken up in the Arizona desert. I spent the day at the spa in Phoenix and am on my way down to Mexico for a bit of sun and seafood.

My camping routine is a bit different than my resort routine and I can certainly say today that I’m definitely cleaner than I was a few days ago. Each has its benefits and I’m not sure which I prefer. We camped in spots that were completely off the beaten track and there’s something really nice about cooking dinner under the stars and waking up to see the sunrise. Plus, yoga in the desert just can’t be beat. Resort life ain’t ( I like to use that word because I know I’m not supposed to) bad either. Not only do we have a sweet deal on our room, even our food is discounted. I can check email and listen to cds when I’m not at the pool. It’s just a little more manicured and slightly less authentic and the combination of outdoor and indoor living is nice. However, I’m ready to be unreachable again and ready to crawl my way into the down comforts of the back of our cab. 3 dogs, the right partner, some good food, a good book and a killer camping spot- that’s all I need. Life has been very very good.

I’d talk about all that’s going on with Shift, our successes and all that jazz, and yet that doesn’t seem to be my prupose today. I’ve been wanting to write a blog about staying balanced in a start-up for the last month. It feels nice to be on the balancing side and so I’d rather discuss how I’m balancing out. I had a massage. The second this year. The last one (that I wrote about) was less than effective because I ran through my todo list the whole time. This time, I had 2 days to myself and spent one at the spa. I almost fell asleep in my massage and made use of the sauna and pool and. . . I read a girly magazine!!!!!! Not that kind, I mean the Glamour/ Cosmo kind. The kind with fashion trends and sex tips. I went on walks with the dogs and I’m solidly into a book I can’t put down (whehoo!).

My goal for this vacation (how type A is that?) was to complete a book because I rarely find the time to finish a book. I’m reading A Million Little Pieces and like the rest of America am totally into it. Although my life (or addictions) never neared his intensity, I have some understanding of what he calls the Fury- his rage that he couldn’t qwell.  Mine was a much tamer form of just not good enough which constantly showed up as not enough. It didn’t matter if it was 6 am, I wanted to find the next party. It didn’t matter if I had my 10th drink (or whatever else), I wanted another. There was a constant need to fill myself with something- other people, entertainment, food, men, drink, drugs, vacations, you name it.  I’m bringing this up because the book is bringing me back a bit and what I think is best about the book is seeing how he seeks what resonates with him.  He’s in rehab and they want him to follow the 12step program and that just isn’t his thing.  What’s great is that he sees that there really can be another way.  He’s opening (I’m at page 250 or so) to something - yet he’s clear he needs to hear it in the form that works for him.  I was a bit like that. Religion didn’t work for me because I really wasn’t into the idea of wrong or right, sin judgment, damnation, repentance and all that other stuff. 

Anyway, I’ve been in a little vacation bubble, having fun and at the same time reading this potentially heavy book and reliving some memories I’d rather forget.  Guess my black-outs were only so effective. Yet, what’s interesting is that I’ve been reliving my process.. what it took for me to get here.  When I was making my shifts, it was a constant process and the only way it worked was to keep working my mind like a muscle.  If I really look at that transformation, I’d say it took years and years and I’m still working on it.  I moved forward and I fell. Sometimes I fell really hard. However, whatever my behaviors were, I now had this understanding of why I was doing what I did which made it a little harder to ignore and a little clearer to see. I’ve read that our minds, like a rubber band, can not return to the same form once it’s been streched.  It took years and years of stretching, of working the muscle (the happy muscle) and learning to fill all that need with me.  There was a time when I was always not good enough and there was never enough and now I think I’m just better at seeing things a little bit differently.  I’m also a tad better at wanting someone else to fill me.

Now, I take a break from my vacation with my partner to have a day or so for me. I fill myself. I may get a massage or do yoga or go for a walk. I also bake in the sun (my last true addiction that I really have no intention of giving up)  or smoke a cigarette (can you believe it?) because I want to and yet my feeling about it now is different. If I bust out a cigarette once a month as a reward, then that’s what it is.  I’m filling myself every day with gratitude and thankfulness for the people I get to meet and the life I get to enjoy.  I no longer feel like I need to constantly fill myself with something other than me.  I think it’s because I’m getting it now- I know I’m loved and I don’t need a drink or a man or a VIP lounge to make me feel it. I’m doing it for myself and everything else is falling into place.

I feel lucky.  Manana nosotros vamos a Mexico y la playa. Fantastico!

I’ve been wanting to write about his subject for months. Can you live a life of balance and work at a start-up? Or I should say can I? It’s now 11:29 PM and I’m writing this blog, so I probably loose a point there. I wanted to write tonight- needed to get it in. My yoga teacher has started a new class. Now we do an hour of Iyengar (Iyengar is known for its strong focus on alignment and positioning) and then we do a half hr of meditation. On Monday nights. I am so thankful for this gift. I’ve been wanting to have a regular meditiation/yoga practice for years and at least now, I can commit to one day a week. 

I took 10 days off over the holidays and was without email for at least 5. I feel fantastic- Newly energized. Raring to go!

The first 20 minutes in yoga were a bit labored today. All that energy and excitement that comes with me working in my jam-packed 15 minute increments actually didn’t feel so great when I stopped and felt my body. My forhead and eyes were tense- I couldn’t get rid of that crease in between my brows even when i streched it out with my fingers- and my breathing was shallow. I was panting from high up in my lungs like a chihuahua. I was pretty revved up.

Yoga’s great though. Originally created with the intention of getting the mind and body ready to meditate, it really does just that. More poses than usual in, I finally got into my body. My eyes began to tear, my back opened up, my breathing calmed down and I finally became more present. And then we did one of my favorites- the Tree pose. Sometimes I make us do this in the middle of the day at work because balancing on one leg requires singular focus. I must pick a point on the wall or floor or I’m off and I fall. 30 seconds of not being able to think about anything except pressing my foot into the inside of my thigh and growing tall. It’s fantastic.

Today’s meditation was a bit more difficult for me because we only had a bit of guidance at the beginning. I like having something to put my mind to because I’m still working on mind control and it’s so easy for me to think about dinner, and making those sales calls so we actually have some retail locations when that article in The Miami Herald comes out and getting our shipping process seamless and have the dogs peed all of over the house because they haven’t been out and… you see?

Our guidance today was to envision light in us and around us, coming in and out as we breathe, as we speak as we see… I could see this gold light and could see it swirling and moving in and out of my body and I could feel my breath move down low into my belly so that it completly filled me up. I didn’t really see it coming out of my chakras because I have to admit and I know this might be crazy for someone who claims to be involved in Self-help and New-age, but I actually don’t know where they all are… so I just thought about light filling me and everything around me. I like that visualization.

We spoke about going to sleep after redirecting our thoughts inward and having some intention- even in our dreams. In the movie What The Bleep Do we Know?, they talk about creating your day.  Pretty cool right? Decide your intent for the day when you wake up. See it unfold with everything going your way- include plenty of green lights and parking spaces. It really does make so much sense to take 5 minutes at the beginning and end of the day to go within.  That might mean reading a lesson from a Course in Miracles or focusing on a symbol. Just 5 minutes. 

So, can I put 5 minutes of balance twice a day into my start-up life? The better question is can I be consistent or how long can I stay committed? Let’s see.

Hmmm, now that my back is starting to hurt, I think it’s time to move away from the computer and towards bed. I think I’ll use some canine wisdom, do my upward and downward dogs, and vision some gold light before crawling in.

I was compelled to write this just now. There’s a ridiculous controversy that small parts of the book, A Million Little Pieces by James Frey are fabricated. They are soooo minimal. A few pages about the exact nature of his arrests are being questioned when there are over 400 pages about his time in rehab. The main story is that this man conquered his addictions with the power of his thoughts and is still living his life from love. Larry King should research his guests. If he’d read the first 5 pages of that book he wouldn’t have had to ask basic questions that the millions of us who have read it know such as does James have any siblings. He kept asking if this controversy will make him use again. He’s been sober 13 years. It’s just unfortunate that an entire hr could be spent focusing on such trivial stuff and not the actual book.

Whew- Oprah just called in and she is THE BOMB!!! She spoke clearly about the true message of redemption in the book and the fact that that is what is relevant. She addressed a caller and said, "If you are an addict and you connected to James ’s message then that is what is real…

The book’s message is HOLD ON…. I love it.

So this is what I wrote to his publisher after watching 20 minutes of the interview. I hope he gets it.

________________________________________

Please, please, please forward this to James Frey.

James,

I’m watching you on Larry King right now and want to just remind you how truly supported you are. You did a powerful, incredible thing. You chose health and healed yourself. Larry King could benefit from some of your integrity and it would have been nice if he actually read the book.

So ignore all this bullshit. It’s just another distraction from the truth. You are where you are because you made a choice and make a choice every day. You chose you. You chose love.

Congratulations on all your successes. I loved the book and know from my own darkest hours that what you have seen and experienced are situations that most (and especially your critics)could never recover from. Let it all go and ignore them.

Everyone chooses their own experiences and people will react as they choose.

Keep writing. We’ve got much to learn from you.

All my best,

Nicole