Shift - A Game About Love, Fear and Life

June 30th, 2005 - filed in Play

first blog

This is so exciting. I finally get to write and for the most part it’s about me. How fantastic… while talking about all the ways I’m combating my ego I can actually be pretty egoic and just talk about myself. How cool is that?

During the course of this blog, I have no doubt you’ll learn more about who I am and what makes me tick and why I created this game. I figure we’ll get there eventually. For now, I’ll just jump in at today.

I just came back from my first massage in maybe the last six months. I’ve been watching my cash and working really hard… and in the mean time going to a chiropractor to fix what I do to myself daily on the computer. This is the first day in many, many days where I am actually doing something for myself. Yes, I guess running and gardening is for myself and all that but I seem to be constantly doing and never really just being or receiving.

Once you can watch what you’re thinking, you’re kind of cursed (in a good way). Not only is there no excuse for your behavior later, but there’s no way to really ignore the voice that breaks in and says, “BTW- this is what you’re doing. If you were coming from Love, you’d be doing this.” So I’m getting my massage and I’m running through all the exciting things I can do with blogs and thinking about how we’ll build community and what I’ll write and and, and, and … I have to keep forcing myself to remember to be present. I have to keep reminding myself that this time is for me. Someone (this was actually a young guy – perhaps the topic of a whole other blog) is not just touching me, he’s getting paid to make me feel good… And it feels DAMN good -during those few minutes when I can actually concentrate and focus on my breathing and the way it feels to have my feet rubbed by a perfect stranger who just 20 minutes ago was telling me to strip down to what’s comfortable. This is quality me time. Or at least quality fantasy time…

This was the type of massage that in the past would have left me asleep by the time he said, “Take your time to get dressed” and yet I was focused on getting home quick so I could pick up my long, past love of writing and get you something good. But I guess that’s just the thing. It’s not that there’s a certain black and white answer to every situation that says this is coming from Love. For example, is it true that I must be present, receive and be mellow during my massage to come from Love? The truth is, in every situation, it’s really just my response that matters.

In the past, if there were times when my mind was racing, it was racing in circles trying to figure a way out of a mess that most likely had no exit. I was great at creating those. Instead, today I was jazzed. I was pumped and there was nothing even a young boy with massage oil could do to keep me from focusing on my vision. We’re getting close… Shift is coming together and I am more than excited. I think I’m vibrating and I’m actually totally cool with the fact that I just worked straight through my me time. I can’t wait to show you what we’ve got but I’m more excited to see what you’ll bring us. It is going to be stellar… Yep, It is time to Shift…

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