Shift - A Game About Love, Fear and Life

Straight from Spirituality and Health’s site… to read other questions go to their site..

Hello Rabbi Rami,

I knew you as a child in Miami and am so excited to see you here. Real simple, how do I support my Jewish mother by acknowledging the holidays when I find more in the language that doesn’t resonate than does. I have a hard time believing we’re still slaves in Egypt or chosen for that matter. And although I know we should remember, I feel we’ve been reinforcing an identity of victim. In fact, I created a game called Shift that shows us that our thoughts create our reality. You can play a demo at www.shiftthegame.com.

So, how do I acknowledge my heritage and support my mom when I feel I’m moving further from my religion? My answer was to acknowledge the holiday my way and let go of my mother’s vision of what a good jew looks like. I chose to acknowledge what I wanted to let go of from last year and what I wanted to bring in for the new year on Yom Kippur. I made a brisket too. And yet, I do not see myself as Jewish anymore. I see that as limiting. I’d rather be a citizen of the world. I guess it’s being detached from the other person’s expectation. Did I just answer my question?

It’d be great to hear from you though. Blessings and love,
Nicole
Submitted by Nicole Casanova on Sep 29, 2007

Rabbi Rami Shapiro: You are not alone in this. Lots of Jews find the Judaism of their parents irrelevant to their lives. It may well be that your mother felt the same about the Judaism of her parents and grandparents.

There are two issues here, and you already grasp them. First, there is the matter of being a dutiful daughter. Second, there is the matter of being true to oneself.

I suggest you do what you already seem to be doing: reinventing Judaism for yourself. For example, Passover is about liberating oneself from Mitzrayim, literally the narrow places in which one is enslaved. Everyone can relate to that. And Yom Kippur is about awakening to your oneness with God.

Recently I spoke with one of my spiritual teachers about the challenge of identifying with one tribe or another in a world that needs to become increasingly post tribal and global. He said I was putting too much drama into a word. Being a Jew, he told me, is just another garment we wear. Put it on and take it off as seems appropriate.

I do not look forward to a homogenious world, a world without diversity. I have no problem with people belonging to different tribes, religions, etc. as long as we realize these are garments, and beneath them all we are all equal manifestations of God.

“You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it” - Dr. Wayne Dyer

How often have you found yourself in the same old thinking that gets you no where? Your life feels like constant turmoil. You want to join the neighborhood gym, but the $30.00 per month membership means you will have to scrimp somewhere else in your budget like the Mega Channel Cable TV package you have. Maybe you are limiting your “You Time” to a daily shower and wonder why you feel stressed all the time. You want to change jobs but there is just no place that’s a perfect fit for you, so you stay stuck where you are.

We have read and heard that change begins with within ourself, and it’s true. Researchers say that we have about 60,000 thoughts swirling around in our heads each and every day. Many of those thoughts are negative coming from our egos, from fear or from past experiences. Your Aunt Lilly said you would never be able to support yourself as an interior decorator. With a thought like that recycling in your brain, guess what – you will never be able to support yourself as an interior decorator. Sure, this is just an example, but put your own dream occupation in place of interior decorator. Are you able to make changes in your life and move in the direction of your dreams? Or, have you been unable to move towards that dream because of thoughts like your ego saying it’s a lot of work and you will be a failure or maybe you’re afraid that others will think you are not good enough. Or, maybe you think Aunt Lilly was right. You have the power to change all this.

When you change the thoughts that you carry around with you, you can change your life. Your thoughts are creating your life. Think of yourself as a magnet. If you believe your job is lousy, it’s lousy. If you believe that your relationships are awesome, they are awesome. If you believe that you are stuck in a life situation, you are stuck. If you believe that you are loved, you are loved. These are truths based on the law of quantum physics and the law of attraction.

You can change your thinking. You do not need to let negative thoughts control your life. Like any good habit, it just takes some time and practice. You need to exercise your mental muscles. Read a book, play a game or attend a class that will work your mental muscles to know you have the ability to change your thinking. For example, here is an exercise for you - take a moment to “hear” the thoughts in your head before responding. Are they positive thoughts that will move you forward as a loving individual, or are they negative thoughts that will hold you, and the people around you, back from reaching their full potential? For example, your co-worker Bob has just asked you once again to cover for his shift. Your usual response is to just say “yes” without thinking. You never say “No”. You just want to please him and get over any conflict. After the fact how do you feel? Do you really want to work for Bob? How did that feel?

Now stop for a moment before you respond to Bob’s request. This is your practice leading to good habits. Ask yourself when was the last time you said “No” to someone, anyone? Why can’t you say “No”? Are you always a compromiser to keep everyone happy except yourself? Think of what is best for you right now. Is it best to help Bob out again, or is it best to help yourself out by not working his shift and following your own plans even if it was to have dinner with yourself. Now practice in your thoughts saying “No” to Bob. How do you feel? Empowered? If Bob would not take it well, that is not your fault and you cannot take it personally. If you said “yes” would it be for the right reasons? Perhaps you could use the extra money and Bob knew that. In either case, there is no wrong answer and whatever answer you give, you give from love for yourself and Bob. Now, how did that feel?

Here is another example, when you give a gift are there always conditions and expectations or are you giving only from love? Are you a classic underachiever, or the victim or always expecting the worse to happen? Guess what, that is what will happen until you stop to hear your thoughts before you respond to others. Determine where your thoughts are coming from and change them to respond only from love and in spirit.

Next, practice looking at other people from love. When we focus on another person’s negative traits, our thoughts are judgmental. There is no way for us to know that other person unless we live in a science fiction movie and can literally jump into their head. The only way we truly know that person is through our own thoughts. If you only see the negative side of a person, then that is the relationship that exists between you. However, if you change your thoughts to focus on the positive – the love – in another individual you have changed that relationship just by changing your mind.

See how simple this can be? This year, don’t just change your diet. Change your thinking and you can join that gym, move to a different job and say “No” when you need to. It just takes practice to create new habits. Practice changing your thoughts and you can change your life

Another year is upon us and perhaps it’s a placebo effect, but I’m psyched to make some shifts in the new year. I feel a rebirth the way I do when spring rolls around and I get that unexplainable giddyness. Whatever I accomplished or didn’t last year no longer matters. It’s 2007 and here I am, new again.

My husband and I just did the coolest thing. I wanted us to write our visions for 2007 and I had us start by writing our gratitudes for 2006. What an amazing exercise. Before that, we checked in on our 8 Step Process (it’s a tool for getting clarity in any relationship because you go through your expectations and shift them into goals and operating instructions etc.). We felt as if 95% of the things we put down a year ago where now things we do regularly or things we no longer have an issue with. The one place where we realy needed to continue our work was around money- we decided to put tools into place to get clarity on our budget. I felt myself getting really tense because he’s been supporting me lately and it’s been one of my biggest lessons to learn to receive- especially from a man.

I had been reading A Course in Miracles that morning and it said that we teach everything. We teach how we should be treated in relationship by what we believe about ourselves. If I feel loved and whole and powerful, you bet the person I’m connecting with will get that. And when we feel somehow less than, we’re teaching that person that that’s who we are too. When we started to talk about money, I shrunk into feeling not good enough. I had just read him a line from the course that says,” Who would attempt to fly with the tiny wings of a sparrow when the mighty power of an eagle has been given him?” I joked that I was teaching him that I was the sparrow.

Still feeling a bit uneasy and wanting to avoid more money talk, I switched gears so that we could get on with the Gratitude/Vision exercise. We each wrote our gratitudes and my experience was powerful. By number four I was almost in tears. The feelings I had a second before immediately shifted when I started reviewing the year and all the wonderful experiences I’d had. I got married, went on a honeymoon, created a wonderful home, celebrated with my friends and family in the place my soul loves most…) It was interesting to see what I valued most. My relationship and friends and family were at the top. I didn’t mention work until number 8. We shared our lists and then wrote our visions and shared those.

There’s a quote that says it’s impossible to be upset when we are giving thanks. Gratitude has always been the number one way for me to make a shift. I think my Gratitude list was even more powerful than my vision because it’s based on acknowledging what’s real for me now. Maybe it’s because it’s past and that conveys a more solid reality for me where my vision is a want in the future that I believe I can manifest. Maybe it’s my scientific or egoic mind that wants to base things on what’s concrete, what’s transpired. In reality, both my vision and my reflection of my past and what I’m grateful for all come down to the filters and judgments I place on them. It’s all still a perception that I make real or more real.

Whew- when I see what’s shown up for me in just 2006, I know I am blessed. Gratitude, time and again, squashes all of my insecurities and self doubts. I decided to post my list on the wall behind my computer screen (along with my Bootstrapper’s Manifesto- Seth Godin, Massive collage/treasure map of what I want to manifest and my success meditation by John Randolph Price).

We completed by reading the success meditation. I’m reading it daily. You may want to include in your New Year too.
OK, 2007, BRING IT ON!

Success Meditation
John Randolph Price

All that the universal presence of God has is mine, for God and the expression of God cannot be separated.

I live in the Eternal Now with the Infinite All and nothing is missing from my life.

I am the power of God to have.

I am the fiery strength of God, the living force of vitality that goes forth with divine intention and authority.

My creativity is love in action and everything I do is victorious.

My divine power is the thought that I will and every door swings open before that power.

I have divine aspirations to fulfill my highest destiny, and with enthusiasm I move forward, forever illuminated by my higher vision. I see that which is mine to do and I do it with ease, devotion and gladness and I am blessed with the treasures of the divine for that is what I see.

I walk in the footsteps of my Self and my path is sure. My ideals have been formulated in the crucible of my mind and are forged in divine design in my heart. In joyful freedom I now follow my heart for I have seen my destiny and what I see I know.

Still somewhat out of commission as I take the month of July to honor my new marriage!!  We had the best week of non-stop partying, eating and hanging with friends and family who came in from around the world. I must say I miss cooking for groups of 20 and it’s slightly lonely here. My lovely Dorothy came in from SF to marry us. We had an amazing ceremony (the rain stopped for long enough to get the job done) and I thought I’d include one portion of it.

  This is a combination of passages from A Course in Miracles and Momentum by John-Roger and Paul Kaye:

Love is given to everyone just as the sun shines on everyone. Not everyone, however, wants to stand in the sun. So, you are the one that determines the level of your experience with love. Love sits by you until that time when you will let love flow through.

You do not have to love personalities. People are not their personalities.

Then what are you? You are living love. You always have been. Let your loving lead you into awakening and the discovery of what you already are.

You may not always be clear in your direction, but if you keep moving and let love lead, the direction will clarify itself. And when it does, ask, “Who would attempt to fly with the tiny wings of a sparrow when the mighty power of an eagle has been given him?”

People often say that love will cure the world. But this is not exactly true. It is loving that cures the world. Loving is action. Loving is manifestation. Loving is movement. Loving is the consciousness of giving.

Even in the midst of conflict, you can allow love to lead you.  Most arguments between husbands and wives are about the yearning underneath the words. Usually the person is asking to be loved as they are, without demand for change, without judgment. Listen for love. Love knows that you got married for a good reason and that was to learn to live and love unconditionally.

When difficulty happens, you have the ability to raise yourself. Don’t contract from your experiences. Bless them. Love them.  After all, what could you not accept, if you but knew that everything that happens, all events, past, present and to come, are gently planned by One Whose only purpose is your good?

Love your consequences. They are your opportunity to learn. They are your opportunity to gain wisdom. They are your opportunity to properly identify with what is true.

And remember.

Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.

I’ll be MIA for a bit-camping with my new husband and the dogs. Married life is great so far.

caio for now,  Nicole 

I always thought that life would be easier when all my children left home. We would have quiet dinners, leisurely walks and travel on the weekends. That is not necessarily true as my husband and I found out this year. From taking in Grandma for a few months to taking in a friend for the summer, our lives have been crazier then ever. Or is it? All kids and a spare have come home for the summer. As I scramble working, preparing meals for seven, laundry (it never ends) and keeping a semi-clean home I often have to remind myself that my reality is what I make it. It is either very hectic or I can change my thinking in that I am blessed to have so many people sharing my home with me. I choose the later. So can you.

the events of toy fair are still running around my head, as if they have the New York energy, just as i’m settling back into my rocky mountain routine…
i havent had a chance to write yet, or more likely, i havent known what to write.

let me start with this.  i am 23 years old.  this, and toy fair speicifically, is the biggest thing i have ever been a part of.  and when you can stand back, and soak that in, it is a humbling feeling.
i love NY, i love everything about it, and feel as if every time i leave, i come home with a sense of inspiration and new found courage to go boldly. 

let me state how these lessons came to be on this trip.

we always say that our goal is to operate with ease and grace.  we arrived in NY, were picked up by our van service, dropped our stuff off, and made it to Charlotta’s easily.  we set up saturday morning, and spent the afternoon shopping.  ease and grace.
sunday, the opening day of toy fair, started with a boom - literally.  lightning, thunder, and over two feet of snow.  i questioned nicole for putting make-up on, just to walk through horizontal wet snow, and the miami girl in her continued to do so.  we bundled up, set out, and froze.  there is something about a city that is burried. there is a silence that can’t be explained, but only experienced.  i managed to fall on my butt, and even run into a man in the middle of the street because it was so painful to look up.  i was grumpy to say the least, and nicole learned from me, all it takes is five minutes, and i’m fine.

the first day was quiet.  we met many people.  as i like to think, we made friends.
the next few days came and went.  they were a blur.  but lessons were learned and i’m thankful for those people who stopped to learn about shift.
i learned that the game really works.  on a slow afternoon i played the game with the man from the booth next door.  before that, i knew his name, he made games, and he was silly.  after playing the game, i formed such an understanding with him that i was sad to say goodbye.  he knew me and i knew him and by the end, we were friends.  just because we took a half - hour to play the game.  i had never been so proud of the game.

i learned to believe in what you do and be proud.  it radiates. people can tell.
i learned to watch out for water puddles (as i stepped in one every day of toy fair…).
i learned that we are living the sugi tanka quote, "Don’t go with the flow.  You are the flow." 
…and, we are the future of games.
turns out toy fair is a lot like summer camp, in my opinion.   you are intimidated at first, you make these relationships, you learn the ways, and just as things get good, you need to pack up and go home.  granted there are no campfires or mosquito bites, but the bags are heavy, and everyone is exhausted when it is all said and done.  you go home and wonder if you were crazy for doing what you had done, but know that every experience makes you who you are and takes you where you are going. 


(i’ll add my after Toy Fair lessons…
 - you don’t think you can do something until you have to - then you do it and wonder what you were waiting for.  you feel fabulous.
-nothing works without communication.
-see only the present - love the past - and carry the lessons with you to the future.
-slow down.
-laugh with your whole body.
-go big or go home.
-live in the moment.)             -Thank You.

It’s a day or so after Toy Fair and I’m processing all the feedback and excitement. We had a great response and people really loved what we are doing. It’s really nice to get that acknowledgment. It feels fantastic.

I’m also finding out that the big players are interested in what we’ve created because they have their own projects in the works. The internet taught me it’s important to be first to market and if you were not first to market, get a massive audience going and supercede those that came first to market. It’s very possible that that might happen. After all, the combination of Kevin McNulty, the man who’s responsible for bringing Trivial Pursuit and Pictionary to market and Joel Osteen, the Christian pastor at Lakewood Church, who has the New York Times Bestseller, “Your Best Life Now” and has 30,000 attendees each Sunday and is broadcast live to over 80 million homes each week is an extremely powerful combination.

I was fortunate enough to meet with Kevin (might I say, the absolute rock star of the game industry) to talk about his new game. I’d tell you more about it but it’s still in development and they only have the box at this point. I wonder how they’ll transfer the book to a game. Not that that matters- he says they’ve already got a slot time on Oprah in June. They might have a huge hit on their hands.

Yet, I believe there’s space for everything.

My studies have taught me some things that the business world did not. Comparison is fear-based. Truth attracts truth and love attracts love. I keep hearing my fellow peeps from my Course in Miracles classes saying, “Create the game in its highest form and it will attract on its own merrit.” Charlotta, our gorgeous artist who is also the covergirl for February’s Spafinder magazine, says there’s always a market for the truth… it will find it’s home…it will find it’s audience- and we need not compare.

When I speak of truth, I mean Truth is what is real for you. The Buddha said, “Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.”

I truly believe that ideas are not owned. That something worth having is worth sharing. I’m happy to see that the project I’ve been working on for four years is creating a vertical within the game market to create benefits in the lives of the players.

There’s plenty of room for everyone and we have something truly different. It was made with love because I do believe that all that I give, I receive.

namaste

So friday night I went out to celebrate a good friend of mine (as I refuse to call it a going away party) and the subject of Oprah came up, specifically the most recent show with James Frey came up.  My friend, who loves oprah even more than I do, agreed with everything she said.  "He’s just a liar," he said. I asked if he had read the book and he said no.  He said he would never read a book  "claimed" to be true, but not and that five simple words - Based on a True Story - would have made all of the difference to him.

I love oprah - I love everything she stands for, everything she does, the change she creates.  She is an inspiration to everyone.  but I didn’t love what she had to say about James Frey and his book, A Million Little Pieces.  Maybe novacaine was used, maybe his time in jail wasn’t accurate, and maybe Lily didn’t hang herself - but maybe, just maybe privacy was protected, respect was shown.  What do details matter when the point is the same? 

To James I say thank you - I say thank you for  inspiration even when I’ve never been to rehab, I’ve never had a drug or addiction problem, I’ve never been in that situation.  But I have felt the "why bother?" or the "why me?" and I have been so low it never felt like I would get back up.  Your story is universal and timeless and I just say thank you for sharing.  What is a story if it is not a gift?

Just as what are a few details versus a book filled with inspiration?

a few years ago there was a series of nike ads that i fell in love with (who knew i’d end up being an ad major??) that empowered women and inspired all who read them.  over the years i saved them and when i came across them again, i realized that i related to them more now than before.  i’ll share:

"i take me, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, so help me god.

we hold these truths to be self-evident: that all women are created equal and independent, that from that equal creation they derive rights inherent and inalienable, among which are the preservation of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.  awoman.

On my honor, I will try to make my health a priority, make it to the gym, note women into the office, balance work, kids, relationship, and all my other roles without losing my mind and to live by the make-myself-happy-law.  balance.

grant me the serenity to accept the things about myself i cannot change.  the courage to achange the things i can.  and the wisdom to know that i am beautiful.

i have the right not to remain silent, to put myself first, to be sexy, intelligent and tough all at the same time.  to be rich and happy.  anything i desire may not be held against me.  do you understand these rights?"

thank you nike - not only for many-a-pair of running shoes, but also for inspiration over the years.  keep it up!

Once again Brian Andreas, one of my favorite artists (from my favorite state!) has inspired me. 

 Disappearing      
      The day he first told me he was starting to disappear I didn’t believe him & so he stopped & held his hand up to the sun & it was like thin paper in the light & finally I said you seem very calm for a man who is disappearing & he said it was a relief after all those years of trying to keep the pieces of his life in one place. Later on, I went to see him again & as I was leaving, he put a package in my hand. This is the last piece of my life, he said, take good care of it & then he smiled & was gone & the room filled with the sound of the wind & when I opened the package there was nothing there & I thought there must be some mistake or maybe I dropped it & I got down on my hands & knees & looked until the light began to fade & then slowly I felt the pieces of my life fall away gently & suddenly I understood what he meant & I lay there for a long time crying & laughing at the same time.

I’ve been reading and enjoying his writings for a really long time but this one suddenly makes complete sense to me.

we go through life so fast trying to hang on to everything, to stay in control of everything, and there comes a point when you just have to let go.  and when you let go it all falls into place and life becomes simpler and you understand the point is not to hang on but to live.  and sometimes it means getting on your hands and knees and searching for something that isnt there entirely too long to slow down.

what does slowing down get us?

i’m starting to think everything.  i feel like once we slow down we live.  we make time for everyone around us.  we aknowledge them.  we love them.  and if we slow down long enough, we may find the time to love ourselves. 

we can’t find love from anywhere else if we cant find it in ourselves.  so maybe it’s time to put the breaks on, let the pieces fall, and slow down.